It's Everything That Is Connected And Beautiful

I find most art books to be utterly uninteresting and unengaging. I think it's the skill with which the art is photographed and reproduced on the page that puts me off. It's glossy, slick and perfect and it almost always bears no resemblance to what the artist created. There really is no substitute for being in the same physical space as a work of art, for sharing the same air and light as this thing. It becomes more real for me and I feel a real sense of communion that I never find from a reproduced image on a page.

Art in a book is separated from reality and the limits of the physical world. It becomes eternal and perfect, and I hate it. I hate it for the same reason that I am utterly bored by Superman. Because it is so removed, so unassailable and so fundamentally alien. It bores me.

But when I can see a piece of art, see the light reflected off of it with my own eyes, that is something very different. I never feel jaded when I stand face to face with a work of art, even the really shitty ones. Ultimately, I find beauty in the flaws. When I can see the grain of a canvas, or the irregular swirl in a brushstroke, or an errant drop of paint that landed on the picture in defiance of the artist's wishes, I see myself, and my flaws, and I find it very reassuring. We live in a flawed, beautiful world and seeing these works or art, and all of their cracks and blemishes, reminds me of just how beautiful this imperfect world can be.

There's also an impermanence to these objects. And they are, after all, simply objects. Paint, cloth, wood, bronze, clay, etc. These things begin as unremarkable pieces of stuff, and through human industry and invention become transcendent. That's fucking beautiful. But they remain things, existing in our physical world, and all things are impermanent. Things break down, they disappear. Each moment they are on display, each moment they exist, brings them one moment closer to their inevitable end. I work in an archive and the one thing I've picked up is that everything we try to preserve will one day perish from this earth, no matter what we do. Lock it up in a sealed, UV-protected vault at the Louvre all you want, but someday we will have to live in a world without the Mona Lisa. That's fucking beautiful. That's life. It's sad, and terrible and tragic and beautiful. It's perhaps the best metaphor for the human condition that I have ever found, and I'm constantly looking.

I just wanted you all to remember that I do have a soul as you listen to the hate-filled piece of shit I recorded at Othello's this week. And to all my friends who stuck around for the whole show, I apologize for throwing such a weird and embarrassing hissy. And thanks for coming out anyway, I hope you had a good time.

Winston Smith's Five Minute Hate

And go to the Oklahoma City Art Museum, dammit.

(Bam-A-Lam) Damn Thing Gone Wild (Bam-A-Lam)

For the last few weeks, Othello's has been packed. Leah wondered recently if we had created a monster. Perhaps we had. The whole thing had grown and changed in ways we never planned. That's chaos, baby. In fact, last week it was so clogged with people that I didn't even have a seat. It was so loud that I actually shouted "SHUT UP!" at the audience. They didn't shut up, by the way. Then afterwards, Ana told me she was planning to plaster campus and Campus Corner with flyers to try and get more people into the bar. I'm not sure that more people is the answer, but it's not my bar.

I was not really excited about the prospect of more people crowding into the bar tonight, making noise and not paying attention. And as such, I didn't really prepare myself at all. So, I felt like a total douche when a small, attentive crowd showed up for the show. I felt bad about the quality of my performance. Oh, well. I recorded it, though. You can take a listen if you like.

Listen Here

Shut The Fuck Up

People don't know how to behave anymore. I tried to use a gas station bathroom last night in Norman, crime capital of the world, only to discover that the Norman Police department has requested gas stations close Craphouse Central promptly at 9:00pm. Is this some sort of anti-bladder conspiracy? No, it is in reaction to the number of Hazmat teams called out to gas stations in recent weeks to remove heroin debris. Thanks, Spud! Because you don't have the decency to shoot up at home like the rest of us, I had to hold my piss until I got back to Oklahoma City. I timed it, too. I peed for 1 minute 2 seconds. It felt great.

People don't know how to act. I'm guilty of it, too. Come on, is that an appropriate title for a blog post? Anyone at all can wander into my site and come face to face with angry Japanese pop icons and overly-salty language. No warning, either. And being that the word "bible" is in my website name, I get more than my fair share of people following Google searches for "bible stories," "bible jokes" and, my personal favorite, "vacation bible school." Sorry, everyone. I don't know how to act.

But this trend is not just limited to the Internets and gas station pissers. I encountered it at Othello's Open Mic last night. First off, it was a huge success. So many people showed up that we had to bring in chairs and tables from the patio, and there were still people standing up. And everyone seemed to be having a good time. I hope that continues. I'm so glad that people are enjoying this event, and I'm so grateful to everyone who came out last night. So please understand that I am coming from a place of love and gratitude when I say to you: SHUT THE FUCK UP! There were some people at the show last night that would simply not be quiet.

And I bear some of the blame in this matter, too. I went up first, and was surprised by the amount of talky-talky. But I gave the crowd the benefit of the doubt. I just naturally assumed that once they got settled in, that the audience would SHUT THE FUCK UP and watch the show. And most of them did. The thing is, it doesn't take that many people talking to make a lot of noise and drown out the performer. But at no point in my set did I shout at the audience "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Perhaps I should have. Anthony and I were discussing stage personae after the show, and I think I might be the guy who shouts "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" at the audience.

Would you like to hear the set? Okay, I think we can do that. It's pretty noisy, and you'll notice how I stop caring halfway through my set. That's the mark of a true professional, people. Not a lot of new stuff. In fact, most of it came from my set at the Comedy Fight Night. In case you didn't hear, Leah won the shit out of that contest. What a bitch. Anyway, here's the set from last night. But be forewarned: it's wicked-long.

Othello's: 04/03/07 - Download.

Because I Wanna See People And I Wanna See Life

So, last night was the first ever Open Mic Night at Othello's in Norman. It was great. We packed the place, which means we'll get to do it again. March 27th. Mark your calendars. I want to thank everyone who made it out to the show. I know Tuesday is a pretty crappy night for going out, so I really appreciate it. I hope everyone had a good time. I also want to thank the comics who came to perform. We only had seven comics show up, but they were good, so I'll get over it. Also, thanks to Howard, Evan, Anna and Terry at Othello's. I hope you guys made some money.

So, like I said, we'll do this again on March 27th, 2007 at Othello's of Norman.

In the meantime, you can listen to me introducing the evening's festivities.

March 6, 2007 - Download.

You've Seen This Bullshit Once Before

Some old stuff, some new stuff. I think it went well. Not as many laughs as I would like, but I'm not going to be happy unless at least four people piss themselves. Four. Anyway, it was a good crowd, and I was happy to be their first comic of the night.

On Tuesday, however, I will be in Norman, at Othello's, for their brand-spankin' new Open Mic. It's on Campus Corner, near Buchanan and White. It's free, so come check it out. We're starting at 9:30.

In the meantime, I gave birth to an audio file. Congratulations! It's an MP3!