Turn Down All The Lights. I'm Just Along For The Ride.

Saturday was interesting.

I started the day with a ridealong with a policeman friend of mine in small-town Oklahoma. I was surprised at the wide array of big city problems (read: drugs) that he had to deal with, and the ridiculously tiny amount of funding he had at his disposal. I was shocked that this man, who I knew first as a freelance graphic designer and photographer, would be willing to risk personal injury and death for a salary that is, for lack of a better word, insulting. But he looks forward to his time in uniform (he still does freelance graphic work by the way, because his family has gotten pretty used to being able to, what's the phrase? Oh yeah, "eat food and live in a home."). He's committed to making a positive difference in the community he patrols. There's a certain level of cynicism, obviously, in regard to the criminal justice system in practice, but the fact that he is still out on the street, knowing what he knows about "how the sausage is made," is amazing. I don't have that kind of devotion to anything yet.

I followed up that eye-opener with a first birthday party for the daughter of two of my dearest friends. If you've never been to a child's birthday party, let me offer a piece of advice: bring a kid. Or a date. But there's something very creepy and voyeuristic about being a single adult at a party filled with kids and couples. For the second time that day, I felt like I was experiencing a completely foreign world view. Four generations were represented at the party, and it was cool to see the connection between past and future. And I felt a little disconnected from it, like I was an observer only, not a participant. It is a strange feeling. I was torn between wanting to get off the bench, so to speak, and my more natural inclination toward introspection and reflection. But I'm about as far away from marriage and family as I've ever been in my life, and I feel pretty good about that. But I heartily applaud those of you out there who make it work, no matter what your situation of configuration. I hope, someday, to experience that kind of devotion.