It's The Terror Of Knowing What The World Is About
I may well be the last American to realize how hilarious the U.S. version of The Office really is. But there is a horror to it as well. These characters are, for whatever reason, mired in this meaningless paper company, unable to move on to anything else. Unable or uninterested in moving on, I should say. There is a gentle numbness in routine, in corporate culture. There is a comfort in steady paychecks and medical benefits. There is little incentive to do anything else. And maybe there's nothing wrong with supplying paper to businesses in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Someone, after all, needs to do it. There's no shame in becoming part of a cog in the machine that keeps society running. Although, honestly, I can think of precious little as soul killing as working in the micro-bureaucracy that supplies office products to the macro-bureaucracy. But, then again, there are people who literally eat shit for a living.
It made me think about my dreams, and what I really want to accomplish before I die. I'm 28 years old, and I still don't know what I really want to do with my life. I know that I don't want to eat shit for a living, so I guess that's a start.
I do know that I want to write, and I'm becoming less and less particular about how exactly that shakes out. Speeches? Sure, absolutely. Humor columns? Yeah. Dramatic monologues? Okay. Screenplays? I think so. And as I move farther away from that, the more likely I am to see my life as a failure.
So, there's my arrogance for you, I guess. No matter how successful I am at other endeavors, if I'm not a success as a writer I will always be a failure in my own eyes.
Wow. That's kind of a downer.
8 Comments:
That's not a downer man, it's a purpose. And you can never be a failure at something you love. And George Burns said, "I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."
My kingdom for a 15 dollar co-pay!
I get it. Me too. Sometimes I fear that I'm going to go to sleep and wake up the next morning, and I'll be 60, and I still haven't done it. What ever it's supposed to be.
I think we just keep doing what we're doing until something makes sense. Or until something works.
Just write.
right?
I am stuck in a stupid office every day. But I don't plan on staying here forever. That show is good... and Jenna Fischer's MySpace is good too. And your writing is excellent, so keep it up.
~Joy
Seth
I think in the whole scheme of things what we are truly afraid of is who we are when we are being what we are, afraid of slipping through that fizzure in the rocks that make up our world. I, too, know the angst of writing. I feel as if I was meant to do nothing else and if I ceased to do that then there would be no point.As a Libra too, I find it very difficult to lull myself into this societal slumber and march proudly along cuz I have a job, cuz I earn a decent wage. It is a meaningless, hopeless endeavor which I would rather have nothing to do with. I bargain with myself on a daily basis just to keep going. I too see myself as a failure because I have not proved to myself and the rest of the world I can publish. It means shit in our facist nation to be creative, to have a voice, because that is no longer an option for many of us. What means something to people now is that you are worth something if only you can produce something considered valuable. If you are one of the lucky ones to be published it may be only because they see they can make money from it. Still knowing this cruelty of life as a business, I see myself as a failure too cuz that is what I have been taught to see. Seth!!! you are not a failure, you do have value, and its up to you to decide how valuable you are.Let you be your own price setter.You my long time friend have meaning and value to so many whom you dont even know you touch. Without you I would know less about the truth, less about humor, less about love. Meeting you 7 years ago Seth has made me richer in the heart and soul sense. I place value upon your head because whether you know it or not, you have purpose. Dont stop writing, dont settle, you are worth more than settling.
You are still on my f-in hilarious list, at the top.
B
I guess you can take solace in the fact that you've tried and done many of the things you've wanted to do in life. Many people never get the opportunity. Why else would they eat shit? And remember, life isn't over until you're 33, so you have a few good ones left.
dude, david, i am 33! are you saying i should give up? I dont believe it!! all of you, if not now, will in fact, face yourself someday. you will wake up in the middle of a suburban lifestyle, with 2 kids, a morgage(sp), a spouse that probably fantasizes that you would have a tragic accident, and in debt out your ass, then you are going to wonder how the hell you got there. let me tell you, you get there by not listening to that inner voice, you get there by deciding to take the easy way out. doing what you dare to dream takes courage and its never to late to stop lying to yourself,or to make things right. i may not have it all figured out but i do know that i want to be happy, and have no regrets. i want to know that i lived my life and never turned my back on who i was. it may be hard, it may be confusing, but suffice to say, i will be true to myself no matter what anyone thinks. that gives me integrity, honor and heart! its not over at 33, david, it's just beginning!
I don't mean to get all mushy and deep on you or anything, but the truth is, you are already, and now will always have been, successful as a writer by some basic, important measures.
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