My New Resolution Is To Be Someone Who Does Not Take Everything So Seriously

I am an idealist. According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, that is. That means I'm an Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving person. But what the hell does that really mean? Nothing. Not a fucking thing. It doesn't tell me anything I didn't already know about myself. I know that I'm introverted; I know I don't give myself credit for the things I do well; I know I would rather be kind than be right. And I know that I am a mopey, emotionally burdened emo kid who from time to time engages in epic self flagellation. Surprise! Anyone who has spent half an hour with me would know that.

And I don't think I can change it. I wouldn't want to. David Lynch famously declined psychiatric treatment early in his life, as he would not take the chance that a "healthy" Lynch would be less creative and effective than the buttoned-down nutjob that would eventually give us Blue Velvet and Eraserhead . That's hardcore. That's devotion. And ultimately, that's the definition of being true to yourself, for better or worse. That's my goal. But I have to remember that not everything is tsunamis and executions in my little world.

The last couple of days, I've been bursting into tears at random intervals, finding chili fascinating and hilarious, and writing some really good jokes. See, I got dumped. Well, "dumped" is probably too harsh a word. My emotional stock market underwent a healthy correction this weekend. And I'm okay with it, really; and I pray to God that she's okay with it, too. But I am starting to develop a Phoebe-and-the-dentist relationship with Winter holidays. Anyway, like I mentioned, I've been having some fun mood swings, and with each swing of the pendulum I keep getting trapped in my head and that's not super-pleasant right now. So, I figure my only option is to make it work for me. We'll see how it works out, I guess.

In the meantime, I've got chili cooking on the stove.