And You, You Are No Fun

I have a great many things that I’m angry about. Of those things, the ones that are not petty and banal are shared by so many other people that they barely merit mention. I would imagine that 90% of us (and 99% of bloggers) could cut and paste that sentence directly into our lives. Knowing that is the first step in taking yourself less seriously, and becoming less of a pain in the ass to the people around you. Make no mistake: I am not jumping onto the Emo-riffic train to Self-Deprecatia. I kick more ass than seems possible. I know this. But I also suck. I just don’t suck nearly as badly as most people.

Not you, of course.

But back to my original point, or rather the original pointlessness of that which pisses us off. Most of it is very inconsequential, and not worth the time we spend dealing with it. There are very few things in my life that still piss me off years after they happen (quick list: Crohn’s disease, W, terrorism, and evil elves that fuck with my GPA). All the rest of it is really not worth holding on to, and certainly not worth hurting other people. I have to remind myself of that. It’s all fine and good to stand up for yourself, but retribution against others just to get even is pretty pointless and will probably make you look (and feel) small and petty.

I had to remind myself of that last night. There was a heated discussion over the recent vandalism to my myspace profile (believe it or not, I did not bring it up), and how it was my fault. Pretty fucking pointless, right? But I was outnumbered, which led to me quickly becoming defensive and more pissed off than I was about the original act (first because I didn’t want to talk about it, then because I was being blamed). I came precious close to saying some really mean shit that I knew, even in my monkey-rage state, was completely uncalled-for and would have served no purpose.

Not exactly MacBeth, I know. And it seems important in the moment, but then the blood pressure goes back to normal and you remember that these people are (mostly) your friends, and that inflicting pain upon them is not going to make you feel any better. I guess it’s thoughts like those which remind me that I’m not actually evil, and probably why I’m not more exciting to be around.