I’ve Got Something To Put In You

Who likes lentils? I know I do. They cost almost nothing, and they’ve got so much protein and fiber that you’re likely to shit PowerBars after consuming enough of them. In fact, that may be how PowerBars are made, but I can’t be sure. So, I came up with a recipe today that is easy, tasty, nutritious and so cheap. I made it for lunch today while watching Firefly, and the experience was so positive that I will share my recipe with the three people who happen to read this.

First, let’s list some ingredients (and a few measurements):
* One cup of yellow lentil beans
* One cup of green lentils (they may be called split peas, I don’t know)
* 4 cups vegetable broth
* Some garlic, basil, salt, crushed red pepper, ginger and curry powder (I recommend yellow)
* Dry Textured Vegetable Protein
* A large pot, and a small pan
* Firefly DVDs (and either a DVD compatible computer or a DVD player and television)
* Heat

First what you’ll want to do is wash off the lentils and look for sticks and bits of rock. I never find any, but ye God it’s better to be safe than broken-toothed. Then, put three cups of vegetable broth (you can use chicken broth, but if you do I might punch you) into the big pot. Throw in some garlic, some basil, and crushed red pepper. No salt, though. That comes later.

Apply Heat! Get that stuff boiling, and then dump in the lentils. Boil for 2-3 minutes, then reduce to simmer and turn on an episode of Firefly. It doesn’t matter which, they’re all good, but for our purposes don’t use the Pilot. See, lentils of this variety need to simmer for about 45 minutes, which is the length (commercial free) of an episode of Firefly. Sit down, and watch the episode, stirring the lentils occasionally.

Once the third act begins, it’s time to check on the beans. They should be softening quite a bit. That’s good. Let them. In fact, let’s put another 1/2 cup of vegetable broth in (again, chicken broth may result in blunt force trauma). Take the other 1/2 cup and put into the pan, along with some curry powder (but damn, not too much), garlic, ginger, and red pepper. Get it warm, and then let loose with TVP so that it soaks up the mixture. Don’t overdo it, though. If you do, just add a bit of water, and don’t worry, I won’t punch you for that. Stir it up, and then dump it into the beans and mix it all together. You can add salt at this point. Let it cool a bit, and then eat it.

It’s pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. Feel free to tinker with it, or change the portions (although that will involve math, and head-punching).

[cooking up at biblebeltbabylon.blogspot.com, xanga.com/moontos and blog.myspace.com/moontos]