Starting Now I'm Starting Over

This is post number 200 for Bible Belt Babylon, and I think it’s time to retire it. Not entirely, of course, but I’m going to take some time and put together an actual website with a way to list shows, display videos, and still include a blog. Look for www.thistotallysucks.com to launch sometime next month. In the meantime, check out the most recent Othello’s show and marvel at the last twenty headlines and the songs that inspired them. And buy my CD. It’s at Guestroom Records in Oklahoma City and Norman as well as Size Recs in Oklahoma City. It’s good. There’s lots of people that are funny on it. Special thanks to James for conceiving and executing the project. And thanks to everyone who stops by to read this stuff.

We’ll be back soon.

11/14/07 - “I've Got Problems; I'm Gonna Use Them.” from “In Case We Die (Parts 1-4)” by Architecture in Helsinki

11/18/07 - “Ah, That's A Bummer But We'll Recover, I Bet.” from “Groundbreaking” by Elk City

11/21/07 - “I Know Hapiness Writes White” from “Happiness Writes White” by Harvey Danger

11/22/07 - “If You Want Some More, Come And Get Some More” from “Sing Songs Along” by Tilly and the Wall

11/26/07 - “It's The Room, The Sun And The Sky.” from “Lazy Eye” by Silversun Pickups

11/28/07 - “They Don't Come Much More Sick Than You” from “Flathead” by The Fratellis

12/1/07 - “歩いてく” from “Never Ending Journey” by Cocco

12/5/07 - “Here We Go Again” from “Here We Go Again” by Hello Stranger

12/11/07 - “So The Trees Got Tired And Laid On The Ground” from “The Ice Storm” by Tilly and the Wall

12/21/07 - “Du-Du-Du Dun! Du-Du-Du DUN! Du-Du-Du-Du Dun!” from “The Wrath of Mikey” by The Go-Team.

1/1/08 - “It's Just An Illusion Caused By The World Spinning...” from “Do You Realize?” by The Flaming Lips

1/5/08 - “Can't You See The Camera Loves Me?” from “Stars of CCTV” by Hard-Fi.

1/13/08 - “Somebody Told Me” from “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers.

1/14/08 - “Stare At The TV Screen. I Don't Know What To Do.” from “Computer Love” by Glass Candy (Kraftwerk cover)

1/19/08 - “Them Other Fuckers Don’t Know How To Act.” from “SexyBack” by Justin Timberlake.

1/23/08 - “I Can't Tell What Kind Of Life I've Led Today” from “Ha Ha” by Mates of State.

1/30/08 - “My Talk Is Dirty But My Boots Are Clean” from “Trust is Shareware” by The Ark.

2/5/08 - “On Super Tuesday I Wanted To Die” from “Vote” by The Submarines

2/6/08 - “I'm Just A Love Machine” from “Love Machine” by Girls Aloud

2/20/08 - “Starting Now I’m Starting Over” from “Time Bomb” by The Format

HI MOM!

I'm Just A Love Machine

Short post today. I'm leaving soon for Arkansas, where I'll be hosting this week at the Loony Bin in Little Rock. It's my first out-of-state booking! Come check it out if you happen to be in the Little Rock area. And if you want to hang out, we could go see Billy's Bibliotheque.

Next week will see the release of the first CD to include my comedy. It's a 77-minute monster, packed full of performances and interviews with local comedians. If you love comedy or mental illness, you'll probably get something out of it. Special thanks to James for putting the CD together and for planning the CD Release Show at Opolis on Friday, February 15. Come check it out if you happen to be in central Oklahoma.

In the meantime, you can listen to some of my new stuff from last night. I'm Just A Love Machine

On Super Tuesday I Wanted To Die.

Happy Votesmas, people!

I hope you all managed to find some time to give up for our political process today, or will whenever your community has it's primary election. Or if you're an independent, never mind.

I'm not an independent. I'm a Democrat. I have been since my 18th birthday. There's no way that I wouldn't join the party of FDR. I'm just not sure that it is still his party or not. But let's leave that aside for a moment. New Deal or not, the Donkeys are my people. Represent.

Now, when I went to represent this morning, I walked into a roomful of disappointment. It started when I signed in to vote, as I have for the last 12 years. The sweet old woman with the book looked up at me and asked "Republican?"

Heart. Break.

How could she know that I want a single-payer health care system, increased funding for the arts, a complete redeployment from Iraq to Afghanistan, and mountains of money thrown at our public schools? For whatever reason, she looked at me and just assumed I was there to kill Medicaid.

I told her that I was, in fact, a Democrat, and it sounded far more defeatist than I had intended. I signed in, was handed a ballot and asked to return the pen after I was done. I walked to a booth, readied my pen and looked at the ballot.

Heart. Break.

Staring back at me, top of the list, was "Dennis J. Kucinich."

DAMN YOU! It was like getting a voicemail from someone who just died in a car accident. That shouldn't be there. There's nothing I can do about it now. All it can do is remind me of what could have been, if only the world had turned a little bit differently.

Tempted as I was to throw my vote away just to say that I had voted for him, I did not. This is too important a task to waste my time making statements or scoring private moral victories. I'm not going to say who I voted for, but I will say that I am not happy with Dave Letterman right now.

I await the results of today's contest with anxiety and trepidation.

Happy Votesmas.

By the way, where was Gravel? And who the hell is Jim Rogers?

My Talk Is Dirty But My Boots Are Clean.

I love writing.

Comedy.

I Can't Tell What Kind Of Life I've Led Today

For some reason, we as a species feel the need to simultaneously worship and destroy our heroes. It makes sense, perhaps, from a narcissistic perspective, to build up the idea that humans can achieve greatness while at the same time denigrating the greatness of those who happen to not be us. A more important lesson, I feel, is that while none of us is perfect, it is possible to be fundamentally flawed and still do great things. That's heroism, to me. So, feel free to run your mouth about how Dr. King was a womanizer or whatever. I'm not saying it's true, but if it is, who gives a damn? Ad hominem attacks are never going to take away from the importance and greatness of what Dr. King accomplished in his life and through the works his memory inspired in those who came after. So, take that, haters.

The recent film adaptation of "Beowulf" turned out to be a pretty amazing meditation on heroism, and I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to get around to this film. It was at times absurd in an almost Shrek or Austin Powers sense, but the overall theme of the film was that, basically, our heroes are jerks. They make terrible decisions sometimes, sometimes when it really matters, and are just as ruled by fears and desires as the rest of us. But, in true heroic fashion, we can overcome our baser selves and even undo the sins of our past if we're willing to make the choices and the sacrifices necessary to do so. Plus, it turns out that 3D is actually pretty damn cool.

So, that's what makes heroes so special, I guess. It's not the ways in which they are better or stronger than us, but rather the ways in which they are just as weak and fearful. Their successes remind us that we can do it, too. And maybe that demystification is the greatest gift a hero can give.

And for some reason, there's this.

Them Other Fuckers Don’t Know How To Act.

At the risk of a beatdown from the Tiny King Of Face-Kicking, Mr. Chuck Norris, let me me the latest to say: Gov. Huckabee is a jackass. Mike Huckabee, on the other hand, is a really cool guy that I'd like to befriend. He's warm, affable, seems to care about people, but then says some of the stupidest, craziest shit I've ever heard. The Book of Genesis is a literal history book, gay sex = bestiality, rapists should be let out of prison if they raped a Clinton, income tax is evil, and states should be free to honor relics of bigotry and treason. Fantastic. Stay in the race, you unelectable nutjob. Make Mitt or Rudy or John or whoever spend some serious time and treasure to win back the soft-headed Bush-lovers who want you to bring them four more years of this crap.

So, anyway... I'm hosting at the Loony Bin in Oklahoma City with Susan Smith and Marge Tackes this week. You might know them as The Untamed Shrews. Also, be forewarned that "these bitches is outta control." They're also incredibly nice people and some of the filthiest performers I've ever seen. Last night was fun, especially the late show. It may be apocryphal, but I've head a quote attributed to Steve Martin that the Friday Late Show is why he no longer does standup comedy. People work all week, get home, start drinking and by the time 22:30 rolls around they're either ready to pass out or a *touch* belligerent. Add to it that a lot of people are just generally boorish and ill-mannered. Kinda sucks. But, I love the late shows. I don't know why, but I usually have a great time with the audiences.

Last night was no exception. I had a really good set, but once I got to the business end of it all, a table up front decided it was time to start talking, loudly, as though I were a television commercial to be ignored until the program returns. I had to stop twice and scold them, once verbally and once with a glare that only substitute teachers ever perfect. After I got off the stage, the club owner told me it was "awesome," and that she'd never seen an emcee stop like that to make people stop talking. It was a few minutes later that she got on the phone and got me my first out-of-state booking. That's right, *this guy* is gonna be going to a little place called "Little Rock" next month. Jealous? Yeah, I thought so.

As my brother pointed out yesterday, Friday night is cool. Well, really he was quoting Butthead. Yes, a direct Butthead quote from my MENSA-joining lawyer of a brother. But both he and Butthead are correct. Friday Night is cool.

Stare At The TV Screen. I Don't Know What To Do.

So, a few years ago I worked on this pilot. It could have been funny, but it was doomed. DOOMED, I says! Watch the hideous thing or don't. Either way, it will continue to exist. It was shot with a SONY Handicam and a Canon ZR10 with almost no sound equipment or money. Never got paid for it, either.

Part One!


Part Two!


Part Three!


Part Four!